How To Flirt With A Guy Over Text | How To Win Him Over!

Have you ever been texting a cute guy just to have the conversation…die? When you are just learning how to flirt with a guy over text it can be hard to keep a conversation going over text, but it doesn’t have to be! Being able to flirt over text is essential—especially in today’s dating world. That’s why I want to share with you all the secrets, so you have the tools to show him you’re interested in him and can keep him interested in you.

how to flirt with a guy over text

So, he asked for your number…now what? How do you text up the heat? Read on to learn how to flirt with a guy over text.

It can be hard to show interest (or gauge his) over text. Especially if you’ve been out of the game for a while.

How do you pick the perfect opening line? 

What if you come off boring? Or desperate? Or say the wrong thing?

First impressions are huge. And if you actually want to snag a date, you need to know how to pique his interest during initial text conversations

If you’re newly single, not used to pursuing men, or just need a refresher, keep reading for my tips on how to master text flirting!

How To Flirt With A Guy Over Text Do’s

1. Show Enthusiasm

There’s nothing guys want more than to be wanted. Make sure that he knows you want to be texting him by showing enthusiasm during the conversation.

Your texts will be all he has to gauge your level of interest, so don’t send him tired, one-word responses.

Compliment him, use exclamation points (one or two a message is fine – don’t overdo it), add an emoji or two for emphasis (click here for my how-to guide), and ask him questions to show you want to get to know him better (but remember—it’s not an interview). 

  • “Yum, you looked amazing yesterday. You sure do know how to wear a suit 😍”
  • “I love that series! Have you already seen _____?”
  • “Hey handsome! Are you staying out of trouble? 😊” 

2. Tease Him

Show him you want him and make him want you too. Send a few flirty texts to get him thinking about you, without being explicit or overly sexual.

For added effect after sending him a flirty text, go back to the original conversation or switch to a more normal topic (i.e. “Did you see the news today?” “Have you heard that new ___ song?). It’ll steer the conversation away from getting too sexual, but ensure he still has you on his mind.

  • “Wow it’s hot outside. Glad I went for the short shorts 😉
  • “Wearing my sexy new lingerie. I feel kind of naughty.”
  • “Just gonna get into the tub. What are you up to?”

3. Keep It Short

Keep your messages to one or two sentences max. Avoid sending long walls of text that will make his eyes glaze over. If he asks something that warrants a longer response, tell him to call you or that you’ll tell him on your date.

And when you are trying to master how to flirt with a guy over text make sure you’re watching for the cues in his responses. If he’s giving short answers or isn’t asking any questions, it might be time to end the conversation.

And while we’re talking about exit strategies, be sure to leave the conversation before it dies. Stop texting when you’ve made plans for a date or feel the conversation dwindling. Leave him wanting more by saying goodbye when you can tell he’s enjoying your texts. He’ll be wondering what took your attention away and wishing he still had it. 

4. Be Playful 

How to flirt with a guy over text is all about showing him how playful, energetic, and fun you are through your texts. Humor is one of the best ways to get a guy’s attention. So, don’t be afraid to turn up the sass a little bit in your messages (but don’t go overboard with the sarcasm). Jokingly teasing him about something or tell a funny story about your day. Try one of these messages to show him your playful side:

  • “Are you always this charming? A girl could get use to this”
  • “I’m starting to think you might be trouble. I like trouble 😉”
  • “I almost left for work without my purse 😂 I blame you and your sweet text for distracting me 😉

How To Flirt With A Guy Over Text Dont’s

1. Don’t Open With “Hey”

Don’t start a conversation with “hey.” Use something from a past exchange to get things going again.

Reference an inside joke, fun memory, or embarrassing situation to create a connection. Send a link to a song, video, or article they would like. Try one of the following the next time you want to restart a conversation:

  • “I finally listened to/watched ______. Loved it! Any other suggestions?”
  • “I stopped by that _____ (bar/restaurant/etc.) you mentioned. It looks amazing!”
  • “Ran across this and it made me think of you 😂” (add link)

2. Don’t Explain Why You’re Texting

If you want to text him, just text him! You don’t need to give a reason why. Stop explaining yourself and start being confident. There’s no rule that says you have to wait around for him to text you.

If it’s the day after and you haven’t heard from him, try one of the following:

  • “Thanks for a great time yesterday! Hoping for a repeat 😊”
  • “I’m still laughing about ____. Are you always so entertaining?😂”
  • “Tonight was a blast! Hope to see you sooner rather than later 😉” 

3. Don’t Be Clingy

If a guy wants to talk to you, he will. If you haven’t heard from him in a while (five days or more), avoid sending messages wondering where he is. No “hey, I haven’t heard from you in a while” or “just wondering if you’re still alive” messages. 

And when you are improving your skills on how to flirt with a guy over text steer clear of the “I wish I was there with you” messages too. They portray your life as boring and you as dependent on him for fun. Instead, show him that you’re living your life, but still thinking about him, with one of the following:

  • “My friends and I just left ______ (concert/movie/etc.) It was amazing! Wish you could have been there”
  • “Having a blast at ______, but wish you were here with me!”
  • “I’m at a friend’s house party. Good food, drinks…but could use a little “you” to liven things up.”

4. Don’t Wait For Him To Ask You Out

If you’ve been text flirting for a while and he still hasn’t asked you out, don’t by shy! He might not be sure how you feel and might need a little push.

If you’re tired of waiting and think it’s time for a date, try one of the following messages to let him know:

  • “I think my fingers are actually becoming muscular from all this texting. We should meet for drinks before I look like a freak show 😉  
  • “So what do you think? Are our phones ready to meet 😉 ?
  • “Texting is fun, but I bet a date IRL might be even better 😉”

Flirting is fun! It might not feel natural at first, but, with a little practice, you’ll be a pro in how to flirt with a guy over text in no time. Just remember to be yourself and follow my simple tips. Keep your messages enthusiastic, playful, and a little spicy. Show him you find him attractive and enjoy his attention, and he’ll be hoping it’s you every time his phone buzzes. 

About Claudia Cox

Claudia Cox is a modern communication expert who gives singles and couples alike the tools they need to improve their relationships. She is the creator of The Text Weapon Texting Club, and the author of French Seduction Made Easy. She loves the outdoors, baking tasty treats for friends, and of course, texting.

View all posts by Claudia Cox

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