Before I dive into this subject, I’d like to make something clear: this article is not focused on turning you into a player. However, it’s important to understand how players function. Grasping some basic principles will help you protect yourself (and yes, even play them a little if your heart desires), as you embark on a fun adventure in texting.
So, What Exactly Is A Player?
A player is a professional dater. They are called ‘players’ because they view the dating game as just that: a game. And just like a game, dating has winners and losers. Players play to win.
To win the dating game, players will attempt to obtain your affection while not giving you any (or very little) genuine affection of their own. Unlike a typical sport, the rules of dating are vague, and players do not adhere to any code of ethics. All is fair, as they say.
A player typically dates many people at the same time. Dating for a player means different things. It might mean dumping their date after they get what they want, and then quickly moving on, or it could be stringing someone along for an extended period of time. It all depends on how much fun they’re having.
Player Detection – What To Look For
If you want to learn how to play a player, you first have to be able to identify “what is a player?” So, where do you start? Luckily, there are some “player markers” that can help you distinguish them from your typical date. These may seem like common sense, but when you’re actively engaged with a player, it’s easy to lose sight of reason…
First Impressions Are Usually Strong
A player will often be very easy to talk to, even if you’ve just met. However, they might seem frequently distracted or uninterested during your conversation. They might even have the audacity to text someone else while they’re out on a date with you!
Most players are crafty and will approach you first, or create an opening to strike up a conversation.
Ask yourself: Where did this person come from? Did you approach them, or did they approach you? If you want to master how to play a player then you must always examine the circumstances in which you met, and look for anything that might seem out of the ordinary. Was your meeting truly coincidental, or could they have planned it out beforehand?
Are They Always Overbooked?
Many times, players have more than your “accidental meeting” planned out. Often, a player will have a full schedule of dates in any given week. So, for example, if they are only free for dinner on Tuesday evenings, but never on Friday or Saturday nights, it could be a sign that they are dating other people.
Ask yourself: Do you have a lot of scheduling conflicts when setting up dates?
What’s The Link With Texting?
Players love texting. It provides them with the perfect virtual playground to thoroughly mess with their victims’ emotions. Players are very tricky by nature, and they can be difficult to spot because they come in all shapes and sizes. Read on for one additional red flag that can help you spot a player before you become too emotionally invested, as well as some tricks and ideas that you can use if you choose to go up against them “text for tat.”
Circle Of Friends
There are some other dead giveaways that point to a player. For example, if, within a reasonable amount of time, you’ve not been introduced to their friends or family, and they show no interest in meeting your entourage, or spending any special occasions together, then you just might have a player on your hands.
Ask yourself: Have I met any of their friends? Do they want to meet any of mine? What are they doing for New Year’s? Am I invited?
While having a few of these characteristics doesn’t prove that someone is a player, be aware of any mounting evidence. Keep track of any odd behavior from your date. Don’t always look for excuses.
So, what’s the next step?
How To Play A Player By Turning The Tables
By now, you should be starting to figure out if you are dealing with a player or not. So, if you do indeed have a player in your life, what should you do?
As players are typically dating multiple people, text messaging is often their primary mode of communication. Why? Because they can leverage messages and send them to multiple partners, even while out on a date with you.
As we discussed at the beginning of the article, a player’s goal is to keep you at arm’s length. This means that they will usually refrain from texting you too often. They will just text you enough to keep you interested. Keep in mind, it’s all a game to them. A game that they want to win, which means you have to lose.
An Eye For An Eye And A Text For A Text
To combat this technique, don’t text them very often either. Try to match them 1 for 1. If the temptation to text more often is hard to resist, text other people instead. It doesn’t matter who you text, as long as it is not the player. Text your friends. Text your parents, even if they don’t know how to text you back. Text someone you haven’t ever texted before. Just don’t text the player until the player texts you.
Me, Interested? Yeah Right
Act aloof. Don’t let them know that you are actually really interested in them. You should try to keep them guessing. If you do go on a date with the player, keep up the uninterested act. Make the player do all the talking and only politely respond to what they say. If the player stops talking and there is an awkward silence, take your phone out and text someone. This is the player’s signature move. Beat them at their own game.
When they ask who you’re texting, say it’s someone non-threatening, like your mom, or your sister. Maybe it’s true, or maybe it’s not. It doesn’t matter. The player will automatically assume that you’re texting a rival player.
The Fun Starts Now
If you’ve been matching the player’s texting rhythm and keeping your cool, then there’s a good chance that you are still in “the game.” Now it’s time to start texting like a player and actually turn the tables on them, making them chase after you. Transform yourself into a powerful texter by understanding exactly what makes players tick and what their weaknesses are. Then, take a minute to decide if they are actually worth your time after all.
Keeping It Real
When you text a player, keep your messages brief and to the point. Don’t ask questions and don’t act interested. Act like you are only texting them back out of boredom. A player will try to lure you in by teasing you and making you feel like they are not interested. Don’t fall for it! You will only grab their attention when you make them feel as if they have a chance of losing the game, so go ahead and tease them back.
If they make a negative statement about you, make a negative statement about them in return, such as:
Player: “Well it’s too bad you’re too stuck up to go out with me.”
You: “It’s called ‘discretion,’ honey.”
Player: “You couldn’t handle me anyway.”
You: “Yeah, I couldn’t handle watching you cling to me like a little lost puppy dog all night long.”
Better Than A Double Whopper With Cheese?
The player thrives on food for the ego. Don’t feed their ego! Your goal is to knock them down a peg. Let them know that they are not too good for you. In fact, they are probably not good enough for you. Your confident attitude will bring the player down to your level and ensure that they will remain interested in you, long after you lose interest in them.
Proceed With Extreme Caution
Even if you think that you are in control of your emotions, be extremely careful when dealing with a player, as it is easy to lose yourself in the game and actually fall for them. Always keep in mind that the normal dating rules do not exist for them. They will say, text, promise, and do anything to get what they want. Dating a player can be a lot of fun – that is, until they become bored with you, and decide to move on. The key to how to play a player is to beat them to the punch, and make sure that you have already moved on and found yourself someone truly special before the player gets a chance to break your heart.
Masterful texting is a powerful weapon in the game of seduction. When dealing with players, it can prevent heartbreak. But the powers of texting reach even further than how to play a player without getting hurt. When you’re reaching out to someone who is actually worth your time, sending mesmerizing text messages can cement desire and keep that special person wanting you. I can show you how. Take a minute and sign up for our Free 30 day Texting Club and you’ll receive over 300 messages
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