Flirty Texting: Mastering The Icebreaker

Any relationship expert will tell you that the icebreaker is one of the most important elements of flirting. It’s the first impression, the initial contact, and it sets the tone for anything that may happen from here on in – so yeah, it’s kind of a big deal… When you’re flirting via text, this goes even one step further: EVERY text you send needs to be an icebreaker. Why? Because flirty texting is even trickier than flirting in real life! You miss out on all of those little nuances of human behavior that let you know the tone of the conversation. Sound scary? Don’t worry, by using these tips you can present yourself as the interesting, dynamic and attractive person that you are, every time you text.

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What Is The Perfect Icebreaker?

An icebreaker should be a message that prompts an open response, and keeps the conversation going. It should be something that helps the other person feel a connection with you and make them actually want to reply.

When you’re flirty texting, awkward silences cannot be cured with a shy smile or a light touch on the leg, so your icebreaker text needs to do this for you.

Don’t Be That Guy Or Girl

If you start every conversation with the zero value added: “Hey, How are you?” then you will get this response “Hey, I’m good thanks, how are you?”

Keep that up and sooner or later, there won’t be any response at all. There is nothing in this message that suggests you are even remotely interested in the other person and how they are. Zero hints that you have been thinking about them and nothing to set their pulse racing and their heart beating. You need to switch it up a bit.

Example Of An “I Care” Ice Breaker

“Tell me about the movie last night. I read some reviews, but I trust your judgement more.”


1. It asks an open question that can easily start a longer conversation.
2. It implies that you have been thinking about them because you remembered they were going to see a specific movie (kudos for you).
3. It pays them a subtle compliment, and lets them know that you trust their opinion.

How Can You Make It Flirty Without Being Dirty?

Flirting via text can be a minefield, so knowing what to do and what not to do is a balancing act.

Warm things up, NOT set them on fire.

6 months or 6 years into the relationship when you’re trying to spice things up a bit might be the right time for lighting things on fire with a bit of sexting. But when you’re just in the “getting to know you” stage…keep your flirty texting PG.

A fantastic way to make your text message flirty without being dirty is to start your text exchange with a cute greeting.

Example Of A Cute Flirty Icebreaker:

“Hey there muscle man, how are those bulging biceps doing?”

1. By calling him a cute nickname, you’ve created something that only the two of you share (inside joke/cuteness).
2. When you keep the message light and funny, he’ll most likely respond in the same way.
3. You’ve complimented him, and subtly made him feel wanted, letting him know that you find him attractive.

Flirty Texting Can Do Wonders

Where there you have it, two icebreaker styles to get your next text conversation rolling. Remember that every conversation opener is an opportunity to crack that ice a little bit more.

If you find yourself out of idea for creative messages, sign up for our free 30 day Texting Club trial with over 300 text messages!

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About Claudia Cox

Claudia Cox is a modern communication expert who gives singles and couples alike the tools they need to improve their relationships. She is the creator of The Text Weapon Texting Club, and the author of French Seduction Made Easy. She loves the outdoors, baking tasty treats for friends, and of course, texting.

View all posts by Claudia Cox

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