What was that one single thing that you just couldn’t get past? At the root of all these questions, feelings, and answers in many long-term relationships lay two main drivers: boundaries and communication.
When you have effectively communicated firm boundaries with your partner, everyone is on the same page and knows each other’s expectations. There is no frustration, perceptions of being used, misunderstandings, or feelings of being taken for granted.
The Benefits Of Boundaries
By setting boundaries, YOU have actively decided how you expect to be treated, and what the consequences are if these boundaries are not respected. Likewise, you know exactly how far you can push that line with your partner.
Open Communication Even For Tough Topics
The same applies to communication. If you have open communication, you are able to tell your partner when they have crossed one of these lines in a non-aggressive, rational, and civil way – a problem solving way.
You, in turn, respect their criticism and don’t blow things out of proportion when the tables are turned.
Avoid The “Blame Game”
Good communicators don’t point fingers or provoke a war of the words. They communicate in such a way that the other person feels like they are being respected and encouraged to do better – they don’t put the other person down or try to make them feel inferior.
The Secret Formula
Successful long-term relationships are based on setting up these boundariesboundariesboundaries and vocalizing issues.
If you are in a long-term relationship with someone, it’s important to have these conversations on a daily basis. If not, feelings of frustration or annoyance build up and up until you find yourself pushed to throw in the towel, cheat or simply check out emotionally.
Let Them Know
Remember, just because you’re close doesn’t mean that you have to put up with habits and actions that frustrate and annoy you. Approach these issues in an open, respectful manner, and the problem can be resolved.
– If it annoys you when people speak unnecessarily loudly, and your partner has one of “those voices”, instead of gritting your teeth whenever they open their mouth, talk to them.
– If you don’t like to receive phone calls during working hours because it stresses you out, suggest that they call you at lunchtime or send you a text message during the day.
– If your partner’s “humorous” jabs about your friends, family, weight or job hurt your feelings, let them know.
Make Your Relationship Stronger
If your lines of communication are open, and both of you respect each other, telling these truths will only make your relationship stronger.
Now the fun part! Use communication to not only keep your long-term relationships in check, but also to add a little spice.add a little spice.add a little spice. Communication shouldn’t just be about staying on the same page.
Every now and then, take an extra few minutes out of your day to surprise you partner with a little “text treat”. For example, send them a:
1. Thinking of you text message:
“just drove by your favorite restaurant. How about I book a table for Friday night? :)”
2. Random compliment:
“your legs looked so sexy in your new heels last night” or “those long hours at the gym have paid off…hello bulging biceps”
What Makes Or Breaks Long-Term Relationships?
Two words: Communication. Boundaries.
And more often then not, you can’t have one without the other.
If you want to keep your relationship fun, loving and drama free, make sure that you understand and respect each other’s boundaries and you keep the communication flowing freely.
Don’t be afraid to verbalize your wants, needs, and desires. Sometimes, the only thing that stops you from getting what you want is the fact that you never asked for it.
And don’t forget to use communication for some flirty fun – send him or her a little text treat from time to time. You’d be amazed at what a few cleverly crafted text messages can do for your long-term relationships…
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