What Should I Do When The Girl Texts Me First?

Having a girl step up to the plate and text first can fill any man with a jittery and uncomfortable fear. Traditionally the guy makes the first move, we all know that right? But come on guys, we’re in 2015 now. Times have changed, and women are taking control of their love lives. They are no longer simply observers sitting on the fence until the right guy comes along to carry them off in their strong arms. If they like you, they’re going to let you know! However, it’s understandable if you’re feeling a bit unnerved. Your usual ice-breaking texts are no longer needed and you’re not quite sure where to go from here. If you want to find out how to handle this tricky situation with flair and finesse then keep reading.

  • Share this:

Okay, so you’re just casually sitting in your living room, dozing off after a long day at work and ping, new message. It’s probably just one of the guys you think, I’ll get back to them tomorrow. Yet as you check the message to get rid of that annoying notification light you notice a name that definitely doesn’t belong to a man…

Suddenly your heart is racing, there is sweat building on your forehead. This has never happened before, you’re out of your comfort zone. You need help, you need an answer to the question you keep asking yourself over and over; what do I do when the girl texts me first?

Are You In Or Out?

The first thing you need to do is to decide whether you are in or out. Are you genuinely interested in finding out where this burgeoning relationship could go, or do you feel like it’s over before it can even begin? In order to deal with the ‘girl texts me first’ issue you need to make your mind up one way or the other.

Out? Easy, Let Her Down Gently

If the idea of getting to know this girl better doesn’t fill you with excitement then it’s time to let her down gently. This means being honest about your feelings in a non-abrasive way. Avoid giving her cliché excuses. No ‘It’s not me it’s you’ or ‘I’m just not ready for a relationship right now’.
How you do it depends on how well you know the girl.

Did you only go out a few times?

Is she someone who has resurfaced from your past?

If you only went out a few times, then in my opinion you don’t need to meet her in person to let her know that it’s over. You can either call (which is obviously more personal), or text her something like this:

“Hey Sarah, I really enjoyed our date and think you are a very nice person…but I want to be honest with you, I didn’t really feel a click. Take care, Mike”

However, if you have known her for awhile, or you have dated for a fair amount of time, you really owe it to her to meet in person – or at least give her a call.

In? Not So Easy, The Game Begins

If you felt the spark of romance with this forthright and powerful woman, then it gets a little more difficult. You still need to play the dating game, but the rules have changed a little.

She’s not like the other girls, she’s not waiting around for you to do the chasing. She knows what she wants and she’s going after it. She’s opened up the lines of communication and has given you a way in. Right now, the ball is in your court, let’s keep it that way.

Don’t ‘Play it Cool’

The 3 day rule is like a chain around your neck. How many times have your friends told you to let her wait, it will make her want you even more? This is a lie. Do you honestly think that a girl bold enough to make the first move will be more interested in you when you ignore her? It’s time to stop thinking like a boy, and start thinking like a man.

Having said that, texting her back straight away with a lame, boring message isn’t probably the best idea either.

Voila. It’s that simple. Just remember that if you wait any longer than two days you’re entering dangerous territory.

Take Back The Power

You’re a man, and you want to feel that you have some sort of control over your love life. This is completely understandable. When you got that first little message and you asked yourself the question; ‘what do I do when the girl texts me first?’ maybe you were also feeling like you had lost control.

Suddenly this woman has come in and taken away your dating power. However, you are now in a position to take it back. She may have initiated the text flirting, but you are still firmly in a position to take the relationship to the next step.

The Girl Texts Me First Happy Ending

Next time you find yourself asking the question ‘what do I do when a girl texts me first? Remember that it really isn’t the end of the world. This girl has broken all the rules, traditions, and conventions to let you know that she likes you. That is a pretty big compliment by anyone’s standard.

You might have to switch up your approach and modify your tried and tested flirting methods, but it’s definitely possible to build a relationship with this girl. Look at it in a positive light and see that you should be shouting with joy and not whispering in fear.

Out of creative text message ideas? Sign up for our free 30 day Texting Club trial and you’ll receive 300 text messages!

  • Share this:

About Claudia Cox

Claudia Cox is a modern communication expert who gives singles and couples alike the tools they need to improve their relationships. She is the creator of The Text Weapon Texting Club, and the author of French Seduction Made Easy. She loves the outdoors, baking tasty treats for friends, and of course, texting.

View all posts by Claudia Cox

Speak Your Mind!

If you’d like a picture to show up by your name, get a Gravatar.