The Power Of Questions In Creating Intimacy

We live in the age of information where we are always connected. Communication is instant and our BFs and GFs are usually available on tap. All it takes is one second to send them an emoji that reminds them that they’re on our minds. One single second - and then we can return to whatever else it was that we were doing.

the power of questions
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But is that really enough? See, the paradox is that, because we’re so well-connected, communication can actually suffer. Instead of getting deep and intimate with our boyfriends and girlfriends via the power of questions, we often tiptoe around on the surface.

What’s Behind The Power Of Questions?

For some, it could be that this is our first relationship and we’re just not used to it. For others, it could be that we’re so accustomed to talking online or through our smartphones that we just don’t know how to get more intimate and closer to our partners.

Where Do Questions Fit In Your Life?

Questions are key to progressing in so many areas of your life, from your career to your relationships, but to make the most of questions you have to ask the right questions.

What Are The Main Benefits?

The power of questions in creating intimacy and deepening your relationship cannot – and should not – be under-estimated.

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A Few Questions To Consider Asking Your Partner

Let’s take a look at a few questions you can ask your boyfriend or girlfriend to harness the power of questions and take the relationship to another level.

1. If there was one thing you wish you’d done/said differently to others, what would it be?

We all have regrets, especially when our decisions have affected those close to us. There is nothing that makes you feel closer together than a partner trusting you enough to be vulnerable with you.

What Does It Mean?

Listen closely to what they have to say. If they’re trying to hide or sound superficial, then they probably don’t trust you with the real answer.

This question reminds us that none of us are perfect, neither you nor your partner. If they have reflected on their past mistakes, then it probably means they have used them to grow as a person.

2. If you weren’t scared of anything, what would you do first?

This is a personal favorite – got you thinking, hasn’t it? We let fear disguised as excuses hold us back from what we can really achieve.

So, when we ask this question, what we really want shines through.

It’s Personal

Answers to this question are so personal, as it takes a lot of courage to admit what we want deep down. When faced with no fear at all, you might be surprised by what they choose to do first.

Some people pick an instant thing they would no longer be afraid of, whereas others opt for a longer-term goal they have been putting off starting.

Help Them Achieve Their Dreams

This is a fun question, because why shouldn’t you both go bungee jumping if your partner has always wanted to? This is also a useful one to remember in the future, as it reveals what your partner really wishes they could do if only they believed in themselves a bit more.

Once you know what it is they’d absolutely love to do, then it’s up to you to help them believe they can…and make it happen!

3. What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?

No, I’m not trying to get you to fish for compliments! Beauty can be seen in many different things, as it is, in fact, in the eye of the beholder. Our ideas of beauty vary considerably and their first reaction may not be the final answer.

It’s just as much about the emotion we associate with that place, sight or person that makes it so:
– A frosty spider’s web on a cold Christmas morning
– Meeting their nephew for the first time
or
– The view from the top of the mountain you never thought you could climb…

Each are personal and unique. Maybe they’ll even take you to the place that took their breath away someday.

4. What makes you feel alive?

Everyone is inspired by something. We all have something that makes us feel alive, sending shivers down our spine and reminding us why we get out of bed in the morning.

5. When we get bogged down by work and life, what thoughts keep you going?

Maybe you haven’t figured that out 100% for yourself yet, either. It may be something you discover more of together. Learning this about another will tell you much more about who they really are on a deeper level.

6. Do you go with your head or your heart?

People usually go with either their head or their heart when making a decision. We either act logically, or we act emotionally.

HEAD Response

That instinctive gut feeling, the one that we don’t know where it comes from, can sometimes be our savior. On the other hand, getting too wrapped up in emotion can cause poor choices with no thinking behind them.

HEART Response

We need to use our brain to keep our actions logical or we decide on things that make no sense. Sometimes it’s going back to a boyfriend despite all of our friend’s reasoning.

We need someone that will come on a spontaneous trip with us without calculating the costs to the last penny. We also all need someone rational and composed to keep us in check when we’re about to do something silly!

7. What’s your favorite book?

The books we read influence our lives in just the same way as our friends. Do they read? I hope they do. It’s not just how much they read, but what books they’re into tell you a lot about a person.

Who Are They?

It can reveal whether they are deep thinkers, whether they like to escape reality, whether they’re really into self-improvement and so on and so on. Maybe you might even find your next best read out of this conversation?

Deeper Connection

Finding out more and taking the time to understand a person will bring you closer together on a deeper level. We get so caught up in just chatting casually, we forget to talk about what’s really important to us.

Objective For Using The Power Of Questions

Remember, the aim of the game is not a quick fire quiz, so relax, cuddle up and see where the conversation flows.

There’s so much you’ve yet to discover about your partner and the power of questions…so keep the questions rolling. Enjoyed this article? Please share.

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About Claudia Cox

Claudia Cox is a modern communication expert who gives singles and couples alike the tools they need to improve their relationships. She is the creator of The Text Weapon Texting Club, and the author of French Seduction Made Easy. She loves the outdoors, baking tasty treats for friends, and of course, texting.

View all posts by Claudia Cox

2 Responses to “The Power Of Questions In Creating Intimacy”

  1. Claudia, you might consider another overlooked topic: Texting tips when a couple is having an marital affair when the woman is married having the affair.

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