Email communication picked up in the 1990s and became a primary medium of communication. If you haven't seen the 1998 romantic comedy You've Got Mail, you really should. Kathleen (Meg Ryan) and Joe (Tom Hanks) start a complex relationship online without knowing each other's true identities. In real life they are business rivals. Online they are sweet and perfect for one another. They both have the "old school" Internet that would take forever to load and then say "You've Got Mail!" if they had unread e-mail. The excitement and anticipation between Kathleen and Joe whenever they power up their computers is identical to the anticipation you feel when you're waiting for the sound of an incoming text message.

You’d think that sending a quick text message to someone would be easy and care-free, but NOPE. People expect a lot from a short message. Like an answer. Are you scratching your head wondering why you got no response to text?

When someone doesn’t respond, you might start wondering whether the message was really sent, if they lost their phone, or maybe if you’ve somehow offended them. All sorts of “what ifs” start running through your head.

Should you send another text message – or is 23 texts this morning one too many? I have personally been there before, wondering why he suddenly stopped texting me. The angst is real, especially when things seem to be going oh, so well…

Sometimes You Have To Leave Them Alone

If you’ve texted twice in the past 3-4 days and have received no response, put the phone down. Do NOT text again until you receive a reply. You will come across as desperate and needy.

This might be tough love, but if they were interested in you, they would answer. It’s as simple as that. Why waste your time pursuing someone that is clearly too busy or not willing to put the effort into communicating with you?

No Response To Text? Here’s Why

Are you stuck thinking up situations in your head that explain the lack of messages? Are you asking yourself what are a few normal, everyday reasons for failing to respond to a text message? I’m glad you asked. Here are the top 7 (in no particular order) reasonable excuses for the dreaded no response to text:

  • They are too lazy to text back (not that it’s hard, but some people…)
  • Their phone battery is dead
  • They are playing games with your head and trying to make you think about them more and want them more (which seems to be working)
  • They are actually doing something productive such as working, studying, exercising, visiting old people, etc.
  • You started it and ignored them first, so they took their lead from that (reverse psychology gets you every time!)
  • They might be upset with you (what did you do this time?)
  • They lost their phone/contacts and don’t have your number backed up anywhere

When Should You Send Another Text Message?

Now that we have established a few good (or understandable) reasons why someone might not be responding, let’s talk about when you should send them another message.

Most people make silly rules like “wait for 24 hours” or “no longer than 3 days”. All of this advice can really get confusing if you try to follow it all. Patience is a virtue, but don’t let the lack of something so small as a text message stop you from enjoying an entire 24 hour period due to sheer stress!

If you are dating someone or have grown close to someone, don’t start falling victim to that nonsense that says you can’t text again or try to call just because you should wait a certain period of time. If you want to talk to your girlfriend/boyfriend, why shouldn’t you? Just don’t go calling them at 3 am and blaming it on this article when they get angry!

There, I said it.

What About Long Conversations?

Now, for those who aren’t in a close relationship with the person, things aren’t always so straightforward. Since you don’t know this person all that well, you should probably give it a little time. One of the few exceptions is if you and that person were having a rapid-fire texting conversation and they suddenly stop without warning. At that point, or after a few hours of waiting (but not letting yourself go insane), you can definitely text them again!

If possible, make your message sound a bit more personal, cute, funny, or otherwise instead of just firing off some generic,
“hey, did you get my message?”

text or a boring,

“why didn’t you respond?” message.

Need some inspiration? We’ve got you covered.

How To Ask For A Response Without Really Asking

Here are some funny (and somewhat passive aggressive 🙂 messages to send that will definitely get a response:

“I guess you fainted from excitement when you got that text from me. That’s cool, hope you didn’t hit your head!”

“Did you tell your lazy friend to send a message for you again? You know he takes FOREVER to reply, right?”

“Wow, how long is your response if you haven’t even finished it yet!”

“So sorry to hear that your thumbs fell off from so much texting, I guess I’ll just have to keep sending all the messages like this then, huh?”

“Stop texting back so fast, I can’t even keep up with you.”

Whether you just started dating someone, you’ve been together for ages, or you’ve just met an interesting guy or girl, there’s one rule that all of us tend to forget: sometimes the person you like is just not as interested as you are and you need to leave them alone.

This isn’t always the case, but it’s important to remember that other people aren’t always interested in what we have to offer…as amazing as we are! Sad, but true. The right person is out there…so don’t let one no response to text setback get you down.

Claudia Cox

Claudia Cox is a modern communication expert who gives singles and couples alike the tools they need to improve their relationships. She is the creator of The Text Weapon Texting Club, and the author of French Seduction Made Easy. She loves the outdoors, baking tasty treats for friends, and of course, texting.
Learn more about French Seduction Made Easy.

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4 Comments

  1. Thanks. I am having issues with a “Friend” and this made me laugh and think! Thank you for the stress relief.

  2. Hi, my son is graduating in a couple weeks from high school. He lives w his dad and new step mother. He is angry at me. His dad and I had a bad break- up, our son was 9. I’m not perfect, his father talks trash about me to our son, I’ve never bad mouthed my sons father to my son. I texted my son to see if he would be angry if I went to his graduation 3 days ago, no reply. I’m so sad.

    1. Hi Lisa,
      I’m so sorry to hear that it is such a complicated situation with your ex and your son. I would call your son instead of texting him again. Try to pick a good time when you know he’s not busy and then ask him if you could come. If he doesn’t answer the phone, try calling him another time and then send a second text telling him how important it is for you to be there and that you would really like to come.
      I hope everything works out. Sending tons of positive energy your way.
      Claudia

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